Anyone can be a leader; however, not every leader is an influential one.
Whether you’re leading a meeting, a team, or a company, your ability to communicate can set you apart as a leader. But, the skill of inspiring others along with you, managing difficult conversations and expressing yourself clearly can take a lifetime to master.
So, if you’re looking to take your leadership skills to the next level, here are 5 of my most effective strategies to increase your efficacy.
- Apply Empathy.
Great organisations are built on the back of generosity. When a team feels respected, their efficacy goes up.
However, many leaders forget their team players are people first. When we use a harsh tone, disrespect someone’s time or assign a person too much work, we are forgetting to see things from the other person’s perspective. With all stick and no carrot, team morale suffers.
Always apply empathy as your cardinal rule. Begin by treating your team players the way they wish to be treated. To do this, we need to figure out how others operate and how they view the world. Ask open-ended questions and be fiercely curious about how they feel about any decision. When you understand how your team feel, you’ll earn their trust and only then can you influence them towards certain behaviours.
That doesn’t mean you have to be “nice”. This is not necessarily about compromising or indulging a woe-is-me culture. When the going gets tough, you have to set solid boundaries, guide people with a cool head and accept that some decisions will be unwelcome. You can’t always be liked; but you can always be respected.
2. Be Objective.
Effective leaders refuse to get sucked into black-or-white thinking. They understand that life is far more complex than superficial appearances or simplified groupthink.
When we can park our emotive assertions and instead question our assumptions, we can think more rationally. We become less triggered by other people’s emotions and our decision-making process improves.
Being objective also means accepting when our own ideas aren’t always the best. It takes a strong person to admit fallibility without shame — and no human is perfect.
On the flip side, leaders who do let their emotions govern their objectivity signal a lack of credibility. Ultimately, their emotions make it tough for them to question the status quo or consider alternative ideas. This lack of intellectual flexibility ultimately cripples them.
We all fall pray to biases. That’s part of being human. However, if we stay self-aware, we can stem the tide of faulty thinking and get to our desired results faster.
3. Read People.
Reading people is a Jedi skill that enables you to influence anyone. How can we persuade a person to do anything unless we first strive to understand what makes them tick?
To do this, an effective leader temporarily puts their own needs aside so they can listen powerfully to others and gather key intelligence. It’s not just the superficial words they listen to either; they pay acute attention to what is being said on a deeper level — the words beneath the words.
You need to look out for the dynamic information another person gives away without even realising! This includes non-verbal clues like body language, micro-expressions, tone, pace, energy, inflection and subtext. Even the way a person uses their eyes speaks volumes about their thought process.
These clues are a window into another person’s reality. And when you can piece these clues together, you uncover what a person is really saying — even if their actual words point you elsewhere.
A great way to start any difficult meeting is to immediately read the room and raise all the objections you know other people secretly think. Once you do this, you then answer every single one of their objections with positive reframes. This shows that you understand your team’s pain — but can also help them see the bigger brighter picture.
When people feel understood and thus less afraid, they’ll finally open up to trying something new.
4. Never Take It Personally.
Many of us resist the word No. We hear No as a personal rejection and work extremely hard to get to Yes. But, the fear of hearing No weakens our power to negotiate.
We need to reframe the meaning of the word. Rather than seeing No as a rejection of us personally, see it instead as a rejection of an idea. We become far more effective communicators when we make this distinction. If we can allow someone the freedom to say No without getting upset by it, we no longer hold them hostage to our agenda of hearing Yes. They start to trust us more. And Yes could be just around the corner with a little more patience and rapport-building.
The most meaningful part of reframing No is that it triggers reciprocity. If, for example, you accept a team player’s angry No and listen to their frustration with an open mind, that person will be more willing to listen to your ideas in return. This is negotiation tactic 101. When we’re no longer distracted by a fear of rejection, we’re far more capable of building a bond. And, the more connection we have, the greater our influence!
As with romance, we can’t force another person into commitment. However, if we let go of the overwhelming desire for agreement, we’re more likely to get it.
5. Say a lot less.
Many people feel the need to prove themselves. They waste time in the pursuit of status as opposed to getting anything truly productive done. And when they speak, they can often digress into verbosity, jargon and waffle. It’s that common feeling of sitting in yet another team meeting where many people talk, but no one gets to the point.
A strong leader will call that out — in themselves and others. And will instead facilitate a solution-focused conversation with mutual respect at its core. Those that dominate will be respectfully reigned in; those that hide on the sidelines will be encouraged to speak up. And the tone will be constructive rather than obstructive at all times.
When we focus on facilitating powerful conversations, we develop considerable leadership edge. We listen more generously, say far less, and most importantly, steer everyone in a positive direction. The result? Greater team enthusiasm.
And when push comes to shove, a committed team is one that will give you their best every time they go out to bat.
Amy Tez is founder of Amy Tez Ltd, a coaching and consultancy practice that delivers masterclasses on pitching, executive presence, negotiation and killer communication skills. She has coached over 1000 Seed and Series A+ tech companies and shares leadership insights at www.amytez.com/blog
